So Happy Together: Sirius and Snape
by seriousblahblah
Summary: Imagine Snape and Sirius, I do. Severus Snape/Sirius Black happy fluff. Enemies turned to something more...? My new OTP. Snape is Sirius's dirty little secret. Song: Teenage Dirtbag
1. Chapter 1

[Weird Emotion Challenge - Prompt: 'Opia' The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eyes which feels invasive and vulnerable.] [Warning: my OTP Black/Snape Sirius/Severus has now been dubbed by me as 'BlackOpium' because of its intensity and extreme lovehate explosion. I warn you, Black Opium is hot. And if you don't ship it now, click back button on this chapter, back away now before the high grade drug takes its affect on you too. I will ship this til the murderous, opium addicted end. You have been warned.]

 _[Song: Black Cherry - Goldfrapp]_

* * *

 **Black Opium**

 _"All my world in one grain And I've blown it" - Goldfrapp_

 _._

It was hard to look at the black haired Marauder's silver eyes, yet it was hard to look away. They seemed drawn to each other like magnets, of hate, heat, fire and intensity...and _je ne sais quoi._

Sirius Black, his mortal enemy, was always on his mind, like a plague he couldn't get rid of. Like a shadow that followed him and rubbed him up in all the wrong places, when Snape thought he was alone at night and over him. And yet—still—he'd be thinking of him.

Snape gripped his fists over his wand. He really hated this _joker,_ with his fucking pranks and rudeness and upperclass aristocracy and wealth that was so in your face. Just like his tight fucking pressed pants that had to show off his... _fuck it. Fuck him. Aggh._

It was too much to take. Snape longed for the days when he was just obsessed with Lily and he didn't have to have this dual burden of being occupied by this _madman_ too. Sirius would rip him to pieces, or send him again to be shredded by his canine wolf friend Remus, if he ever got the chance.

Sirius was dangerous. Delinquent. Inbred. Posh. Maddening.

Snape raised his wand with trembling hands.

"Sirius I hate you so much, I want to smash your face in and rip out all your pretty hair."

Sirius, sensing the impending danger from his old foe, backed away from him. But they were trapped together in the small hallway and barely a few feet away from each other.

"I should rip your pretty hair out. I should make you pay, Black," Severus muttered as he stepped closer and closer to the other man.

Sirius stumbled back into the stone wall and felt his own long, black hair protectively. Vanity, and fear, shone in the Marauder's silver eyes. "Snape...please don't hurt me."

Severus grinned his shit-talking grin that just loved the excuses the black-haired prankster made. "No, Sirius, you've gone too far now. You've teased me past the point of no return."

Severus paused to trace his wand up Sirius's robes, exposing some of his chest and the light muscles that were there.

Why did he hate and worship this scoundrel so much at the same time? There was no other word to describe Black. He was a scoundrel, and an arsewipe who would probably burn down his house for fun if he thought it was a good prank.

After all, he tried to kill him once in the moonlight, and Sirius still thought it was hilarious that Remus tried to kill him.

"Tell me Black, does it still amuse you that you tried to get me killed once, or has your bloodlust finally cost you now that you're cornered?"

Sirius swallowed thickly and tried not to look too deliriously happy, though whenever Severus mentioned any of his pranks, Sirius's couldn't help the smirk that came across his face.

It was really almost amusing how Sirius had to visibly struggle not to laugh at inappropriate times like these. Though if Severus told him that his grandmother died, he had no doubt Sirius Black—inbred delinquent that he was—would begin to laugh like it was a joke.

"It amuses you, Black, doesn't it, to know one of your pranks almost cost me my life?"

He dug the wand into Sirius's throat and again he heard the richer boy swallow audibly.

"Depends." Sirius said as he threw back his long hair in that way that always distracted him. "Maybe it has brought us together, in a way?"

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Right. If you count me wanting to kill you back for it." He teased a breath into his ear. "I could use _semptumseptra_ again, I could slice you from piece to piece til you bled to death at my feet.

Sirius raised his eyes to his. "But you won't, you don't actually want that from me."

Severus felt his heartbeat grow louder. It was true, and damn it, he couldn't stand the smug look Black got in his eyes whenever he realized that Snape couldn't really hurt him. But before he could let the Marauder get closer, he violently pushed Sirius back into the wall.

He growled a warning into his ear. "Enough. Enough, _Sirius_. I don't know what mind games you are playing with me, but it's got to stop."

He shoved the other boy into the wall again before swiftly marching off, back to the Dungeons.

He heard Sirius's mocking laughter behind him. It only made him hotter, his heartbeat go faster.

His robes were tented.

.

 _Bloody fucking Black,_ he'd probably felt it through his robes.

.

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a/n-If anyone else writes Black/Snape let me know, I'd love to read it. thanks


	2. Chapter 2

[Written for Halloween Bingo 97 (creature) Vampire][Crack!fic, high as a kite] [written for you!...or whoever are the poor readers that read my stories] [Snarky's Halloween challenge: prompt 1 (afraid)]

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 **Count Snape**

.

Sirius admired himself in the mirror. He had to admit he was a very good-looking man.

Very good looking. With a satisfied smile he adjusted his cravat, which topped an old-fashioned all black suit he was wearing.

Suddenly a vampire called behind him and he yelped in shock as he saw Count Severus Snape standing behind him.

"What are you doing here, Count?" he snapped. "It's not time yet for our date."

Count Severus Snape shrugged and wiped his fangs from the flesh blood he'd been drinking earlier in the evening. "That may be so," Severus Snape spoke slowly in a deep, silky voice that sent shivers down Sirius's spine. "But I'm hungry now...I need to be fed."

Sirius grimaced. "But I want to order pizza! Not blood and fried guts, you know your type of food turns my stomach."

Snape pouted and licked at his fanged teeth. "Fine. We'll have pizza, but you let me have a lick at your blood. Please just one drop?"

Sirius scowled but then waved his arms. "Fine, but you better just have one drop and no more!"

.

Snape prowled like a sexy panther as he strode up to the other man. He hovered over Sirius, inhaling his delicious scent, before smirking and lowering his lips to Sirius's neck.

He lapped and kissed greedily at Sirius's neck, before he sunk his fangs into Sirius and then inserted a straw into the other man's neck to start sucking out the blood. "Yummy! Tastes like fruit punch!" Snape informed the pureblood as he drained his neck. Sirius held back a moan, he was feeling very lightheaded. "Just don't drink all my blood Severus, or certain parts of me might not work later!"

"Oops you're right, sorry. I'll slow down," Snape said and removed his straw from Sirius's neck.

Sirius smiled drowsily as he waved his wand over his neck to heal it and then drank a blood replenishing potion. "You're lucky you found a vaccine for Vampires, so you can suck my blood all you like without actually changing me."

Snape shrugged non-consequentially. "I couldn't stand to kill you Black." He smirked. "Maybe once, I would've gladly killed you or pushed you off a bridge. But once I tasted a drop of your delicious, pure blood, I knew I had to keep you alive and with me always."

"Yeah, well, I wish I could say the same." Sirius yawned as he sat back on their couch and began to floo phone the pizzeria. "You don't even sparkle and aren't as good looking as the vampires in the movies! I think I got a raw deal!"

Snape sighed. "Learn to appreciate what you have Sirius, not everything is like the movies! Besides I think I'm a very good boyfriend." He huffed and swung his black bobcut back haughtily.

Sirius snorted. "You wish!"

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	3. Missing Sirius

"Sirius, I've missed you." Snape said quietly and his eyelashes brushed againts his cheeks as he stared shyly down at his hands. "I mean, what I mean to say is that I wish I had—"

"Okay." Sirius silenced Snape with a kiss then patted his greasy long locks. Snape closed his eyes and listened to Sirius's throaty words. "Fine, Sev, show me you've missed me."

Snape groaned deeply and bit at the marauder's tongue and proceeded to drag his leather jacket and boots off his sexy bod.

"Oh God, yes," Sirius stammered yet there were unshed emotions in his silver eyes. "Yes, show me my little half blood." He grabbed Snape by the neck and breathed in his scent. Snape flinched barely able to control himself before they both collapsed in a wave of arms and lips on the bed.

 ** _Half an hour later..._**

"Have you you really missed me or did you just say that to make me feel better?" Sirius laid his head back on the bed, his hands reaching for a cigaratte. "It's hard to believe."

Snape sat up straighter and clutched the sheet to his skinny form. He cleared his throat and tried to keep the emotionn out of his face. "And why wouldn't you believe me?"

Sirius twiddled his thumbs and gave him a dirty grin, but there was hurt in his eyes. "Don't know. Maybe the fact that you ignored me for three days."

"I didn't want to do that," Snape stumbled apologetically, unconciously wracking his hands through his hair and wondering how he could be so stupid. "You know I had to go back to Eileen."

Sirius bit his lip. "That wasn't what you told me at the time." The marauder shrugged off the sheets and got up shamlessly naked before reaching for his leather jacket and jeans. "Now it's my turn to leave." He winked at Snape and the skinny half blood felt himself sink lower in the bed, his cheeks burning with humiliation.

"That's one point, Sirius," Snape spoke under his breath. "I will get you back for this."

Sirius chuckled, and pocketed his wand in his jeans. "Of course, you will. Snivellus. You dork. You'll always come running back."

The words hurt like a punch; it was true. Snape couldn't get over his addiction to Sirius's body and he'd always be like a slave to the urge.

Snape wiped away a tear. Everyone thought he was in love with Lily; they were wrong. He'd forgotten her by now.

Always Sirius.

~o~


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